Count Down From Ten
by PerforatedFiction
Summary: I should have seen this coming.


**Author's note:  
Hello, all! I've run into major writer's block for Yes, Master because I failed to write down my cool ideas so I will be on a journey to rekindle the fire that was my passion for that story. Don't worry, this pause is only a pause and the story will be continued. **

**For this story... it was just something I thought of while lying in bed one night. I hope you guys like it! :)  
Enjoy.**

* * *

So... I guess I should've seen this coming. I mean, I have a lot of baggage. Look at me. No parents, two missing limbs, nightmares, I have seen things that no one should ever experience, and the list just goes on. Everyone who knows anything about you agrees that you deserve a normal woman with a normal life. A beautiful one that can keep up with your fiery personality.

It can all be summed up in a countdown from ten.

**10**.

I wasn't supposed to be here.

I wasn't supposed to come home early to here the sounds coming from the bedroom Winry and I had shared.

I wasn't supposed to cause the shock in her that occurred when she came downstairs afterwards in her soft pink robe that I bought her a month ago.

I wasn't supposed to pack my bags and ignore her repeated pleads and apologies.

I wasn't supposed to end up alone after everything that had happened... and not feel one ounce of remorse.

**9.**

My life was supposed to end up with blond children that came from Winry and I. We were supposed to end up in love and in the country, but I was shocked to find that shortly into our relationship that I couldn't love her like she wanted and deserved.

I was lost, so I went to the one thing left familiar to me with Alphonse in another country for medical studies. I rejoined the military specializing in investigations. It was then that I caught up with my former colleagues. I saw Roy Mustang after two years and nothing had really changed.

He was still smug and handsome as ever, although at the time I would have never admitted that.

"You've grown, Fullmetal," he teased.

"Oh, you don't say?" I crossed my arms defensively.

"Is it the shoes?"

"All me."

"You're hair's longer."

I fake gasped. "No."

He smirked and squinted at me. "Did your voice get higher, too?"

"OH GROW UP YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING-"

"There it is." Mustang laughed and set a hand on my shoulder. The whole room burst into laughter at my embarrassment.

**8.**

A late night at headquarters and my neck was sore. I stretched my arms above my head.

"Damn, I must have dozed off." I wasn't used to the desk work yet. I got up and gathered my things and exited the room.

A grumble sounded from the right as I passed a dimly lit hallway. My curiosity won me over and I followed the sound into the bastard's office where I found him asleep slumped on his desk.

"Oi, Mus-"

"No."

I stopped midsentence at his quiet outburst.

"No, no, no." He mumbled and tensed. "I didn't... nnnnng"

He sounded in pain and it scared me. I walked around to his side of the desk and shook his shoulder. "Hey... Hey you're dreaming." I shook him harder as his breathing got faster and he sounded like he was panicking.

Roy shot up, almost crashing heads with me, and panted. "Wh...wh.." He never really said anything.

I remember sitting in shock. He has been suffering too. I wasn't the only one who had nightmares that left me in a mess for who knows how long after. We were similar.

"Mustang.. it's... it's me. You're okay." My hand hovered over his shoulder until I finally set it down gently. It took a few minutes for him to relax under my touch and he looked back at me.

"Thank you, Ed." He never looked me in the eye that night as I helped him out and we parted ways in the front of HQ, heading home.

**7.**

He really pisses me off when he pokes fun at me.

He really pisses me off when he has that "I'm better than you" air around him wherever he goes.

He really pisses me off when he spends too much time looking at me.

He pisses me off when I look over at him and find that he is already staring.

It pisses me off when I find myself following him with my eyes.

It pisses me off when I look forward to seeing him.

I'm pissed off at myself for thinking about him and the features of his face, his jet black hair, his deep eyes, or his perfectly in shape body despite his immobile job.

**6.**

I don't get it. He wants to take _me _out. Maybe things are turning around. Maybe this will all work out. I look hard at my reflection in the mirror and convince myself that yes, this is the person Roy Mustang is choosing to go out with.

I see my reflection and think that, yeah, maybe this body isn't all that undesirable. Someone like _Roy Mustang_ wants me.

No, I'm not blushing. I'm not getting flustered, and no I am not panicking on what to wear to this little date.

**5.**

This wasn't how things were supposed to be. So much for normalcy.

Normal people don't fall for their superior officers who are also a man. Normal people don't go out with said superior. Normal people don't stand on their doorstep and let themselves get kissed by this man. Normal people don't feel so invigorated by this kiss that they invite the man inside where they do things that normal people don't do.

"This is by far in no means normal." I mumbled as I lie my head onto a broad chest. The man who owns it is fast asleep.

I start to wonder where this will go.

**4. **

We move in together. I bring my stuff to his place and give up my own.

We make plans for the future. He gives me a ring that shines so brightly in the light and I again remind him that I am not a girl, but I am secretly brimming with happiness as we both knew. We agree that we should adopt kids and that I will soon quit my job in the military to take care of them.

Roy comes home everyday to a homemade dinner that they share and share a large bed that is big enough for eight people

Roy Mustang comes home everyday with a smile on his face and a heart full of love and for once I feel that everything is perfect. He tells me every chance he has that he loves me. I do the same. It never gets old.

Maybe, just maybe, my life will be horror free from now on.

**3.**

We had our first actual fight. Roy said that I should spend less time talking to and about Alphonse. I was just proud of him.

I can't get enough of his eyes, voice or laugh. After getting his body back, I cherish everything he does.

"It's been four years, Edward. He lives his own life." Roy crosses his arms and looks down at me.

"You try going through what I've been through and acting normal after!"

**2.**

Since our first fight, worse ones have come along. We fight all the time. Sometimes he doesn't even come home.

Roy isn't even Roy anymore. He's cheating on me. I know it. It's probably with Hawkeye.

I can't bring myself to leave him. Hating life as his "love" is better than living without him. When did I stop being independent? I don't even know how to be my own person anymore.

I smell the perfume and cigarettes on his clothes. I catch the same smell on our couch and then one day, in our bed.

**1. **

"You don't even hide it anymore."

"What's the point?"

It was then that I realized what this was and what was no longer there.

It was sad that I stayed with him so long.

I stared at the bare walls and the lack of photos or clothes in the closet. I never really realized how little I actually owned.

Roy took.. everything.

He wasn't happy with me and it should've been obvious that we wouldn't last. He didn't.. want me.

I see my reflection and see a face that fails everyone.. except Alphonse, but now he's living his own life without me.

I mean.. who would want someone like me?  
Rose.. Rose.. line, rose, line, rose, squiggle, vine rose

The intricate design of the tacky wallpaper is burned into my memory as I stare at it for many hours.

It isn't fair that I'm left with nothing.

It isn't fair that he left me.

It isn't fair that he made me the mess I am.

It's his fault that I can't sleep at night.

It's his fault that I can't get up most days.

It's his fault that our wall now sports a giant hole in it.

And it's his fault that my knuckles are bloody.

I guess he did what was best for him. He has worked hard for so long, and I guess he deserves a beautiful family and his own children.

He deserves better than me..

But what do I deserve?


End file.
